Teardrops on My Guitar

My mum's birthday was on Saturday. I wish I was home with her.

My host dad in Oklahoma also celebrated his birthday the same day as my mum. Except he is on the other side of the world. I wish to be with him too.

Sometime you just will never get what you want in life. You plan, plan and plan but only The Almighty decides.

I feel demotivated, as my never ending struggle with studies goes I strive to get the best grades. While I know some people who get good grades they would then get some kind of gift from their parents, I was bound to expect nothing even if I already have the best grades so far.

Still I should thank them for the emergency moments they are available to fork in some penny for me.

But then again, its depressing to know all these years, its still a struggle of which I may just not want to explain more in details.

Money is evil.

Sigh.

I need a hug.

When It All Falls Apart

Well, its gone and done now. A week ago or so, it was something and now its nothing. At least something happened.

Sigh.

I was home on Monday, right after I've sent off the ultimate-sushi-arts-for-grab-KLpac-camp-volunteer-partnet-in-crime to New Zealand to further her studies. Her flight departed on Sunday and I left for home the following day. Urgh, this sentence became just too redundant.

Anyway, going to Klang for Gong Xi at Tyng's was a challenge as I missed the morning bus and the train was being bitchy and late, and there was just too many foreign workers with their very foreign body odour. Dang.

I've not been writing much nor been reading any other blog as I got too lazy and just too overwhelmed with so many stalkers coming in and the probability of me being googled is all time high right after the never-happened-incident with youknowwho.

You can never have anything you want most in life, and when you have it and you'd screw the moment immediately and thats it.

Life goes on.

Heartbreaker

I'm at home, and its not for long.

Had Char Kuey Teow, and mum's fusili+schrimp+mushroom+whipped cream pasta which she learned from Carmen.

Met Tok Nah. Love to laugh with her. Such an amazing grandmother, although we're not biologically related as she was just my greatgrandma's adopted sister.

Possibly a few mandatory checklist did make it this time.

I can be slightly a Happy Gilmore.

And I screwed up things with youknowwho.

Will never be forgiven, and will forever be left with bad rapport.

Family Potrait

I never like to get phone call from home, especially when the news isn't something you look forward to.

Something is really bothering my mind now.

Whatever it is, I will always love my mum endlessly.

Auld Lang Syne

To those who wishes their condolences, I thank you. I was not deeply affected by the situation but nevertheless, a long-distance-never-met-cousins-twice-removed is still a relative anyway.



The weekend trip to home is too short although some latest Facebook photo updates seemed entertaining, however, I lost my wallet again. Same year, lost another IC, driving license, ATM cards, debit card, Isetan, Jusco, Genting, Starbucks etc etc.

I still feel like crap.


I have no plans for new year and I so hope to have something good to kick in. Call me, or hunt me over Facebook if you do want me to be around you for new year instead of sleeping in through the night..

I'm going to end the tragic and adventurous 2009 for good and have better kickstart for 2010.

I'm Not OK

The recent bus crash tragedy happened took away 10 lives. 2 of them were my second cousins, on my mother's Al-Junid side. They were the sisters, one was unidentified because she gave her IC to her dad to get her PMR results. She obtained 6As and 3Bs. Her sister is 21, and is studying in some polytechnic.

I never met either one of them. The funeral already finished right after Zohor. Their bodies arrived in Sungai Petani around 1pm, and they were buried by 3pm.

The younger one was a Tahfiz, or in my humble understanding someone who has memorized the Quran or is well educated in religious education academically.

Al-Fatihah.

Exactly a month ago, my uncle passed away. He's my dad's younger brother-in-law.

3 deaths in a month. May they all rest in peace and be with the blessed ones.

My Ship Isn't Pretty

My uncle passed away on Sunday. He died because of coronary athereosclerosis, pneumonia and liver failure. He didn't even knew about it. He had post-mortem surgery because the police and hospital regulated it even it was not a murder or etc. In our faith, when a dead body does not get buried ASAP its not good for the soul which eventually lead to more tears amongst the family members.

He was not the closest relative but I grew up with him around. Funny chap, sometimes. Its going to be awkward when he is not around. Poor young cousins.

Going to KLCC is no longer going to be the same since he won't be there anymore. He somewhat share-own a company that maintain the cleanliness around the Twin Tower, or so I've heard.

His wife is my dad's youngest sister out of perhaps 7-9 siblings or so. It was my first time seeing my dad hugging her, and cried. My dad is a very fierce person to some cousins when we were younger. Its rather a very sorrow feeling to share.

I feel down for no reason and not feeling any good. I'm going somewhere and spend some time alone.

P/S: I think I have Philophobia.

Nobody's Home

I am home.

I had Char Kuey Teow too.

I came home with dad, on dad's friend's car. A Kompressor C200. Which went so fast, I drooled when I slept. These does not happen often, the joy ride I mean.

When we went into dad's Waja it all felt different. A Bolehland car.

Bolehland metal crap.

Mum is at somewhere in the city for some conference, which I deliberately wouldn't care much as long she is happy. Also, appears on national tv news this weeklong.

I am home.

I have Ben, the last living cat. He is white. Given by neighbor's friend. His twin, Pee Dee is gone and so has Billie Brown =/

I am home.

Good night.

And if you are in this amazing island of great food, please let me know so we can hang out and I wont be too socially deprived.

Good Morning Baltimore

Well its morning there now by the time my fingers dancing on these keyboards. I'm awful. I just woke up from a nightmare bitch-slapping a friend whom happened to be the center of a drama going on with other friends and the unfortunate institution i am in. Since I'm rather google-able I rather not elaborate on this.

Anyway, I'm shattered because these friends called me only twice but I was sleeping soundly therefore I missed out chances to go dinner with them. It broke my heart even more because this hidden place in an unknown kampung has Air Ceria which is mere soda water with vanilla ice cream and syrup and I fell in love with it first time and never been there anymore since I don't possess any form of strong transportation to maneuver about.

Earlier today, I was out with friends whom just about to go for another paper. We headed to The Mines because its the nearest to us. We entertained ourselves at the arcade like little children playing Daytona and basketball and it felt good. I had not enjoyed so much this semester and this ending is rather neat.

Yesterday, I went out with an old friend whom I knew while working at British India. He is now working for Valiram Group which pays even better and he is enjoying it. We went around the city before I head to meet my mum and her friends, some pak cik and mak cik and stayed over at non-furnished newly bought Hampshire Residence.

Thank god its not weekend, otherwise I would wanna jump down to the crowd! It was great meeting up with my mum because each time I go home its never long and this is quite a privilege to spend a short time with her; though I am going home this week but she will be in KL and my dad was supposedly travel elsewhere for work.

It was on 23A floor and overlooking Jalan Yap Kwan Send and youknowwhatclub youbequiet. The unit was bought for the friend of my mum by her son who now happens to be an AIDS specialist/consultant. I told my mum I will get her something, more or less, about the same.

Growing up with both privileges and challenges and amazing people from everywhere taught me one big thing. Never forget, ultimately, the mother.

I shall proceed and update over weekend funs. It was slow start towards amazing ending. If you happened to be lucky enough (or unfortunate) to be on my Facebook you may see random updates going on over the weekends.

No Christmas For Me

The journey home wasn't smooth at all. The ATM machine by the CIMB ate my Islamic account card and now I have to wait for it to be sent to home branch in Queensbay for a week or two. By the time the card comes home, I will be back in KL. Stoopid, isn't it?

Patient, patient. Only a day left of Ramadan.

As I boarded the flight, I went in later and did not act kiasu and just waited for everyone goes in. However, much to my disappointment of earlier unfortunate event I was given a window seat as requested but did not notice it was odd number.

It was 7F.

In most flights, odd numbers by the window don't exactly have any window. Pfft. And as I settled down a lady came and smooshed her bag over my boxes of Krispy Kreme. Then after removing my doughnuts and put it under the seat the lady was asked to move to another seat since she was only on standby ticket. I was still unhappy (thankfully not angry) with her snubby attitude and was surprised that she was moved into Business Class.

Double Pfft.

What it matters so much to me? Well, I'm a travel enthusiast and a huge fan of the local airline with the glitz and glams. So it did pinch me a bit.

Irregardless, I stayed for a bit and went out from the flight as the last person because I like to thank all the flight attendant for their services either it was good or bad. I headed home to be wit home with my beloved family and cat. All the other cats have gone, except one white and aging cat named Ben. Its all good to be home.

Anyway, I should forget all the little things that annoyed me over the last hours and be merry for this joyous holiday feast.

Eid Mubarak, Salam Lebaran, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Maaf zahir batin. Pardon my sin and wrongdoings, forget the past and move forward for future.

Be safe on when you travel this festive season. Remember, its time to celebrate not to be in funerals!

Love you all!! =D

To Love Somebody

It has been a few days since I last posted anything up. I am home. Its the best place to be in the world, geographically. Also, tremendously priceless to be with loved once after a whole long months of hectic and cluttered mess of my mind. Its rather strangely therapeutic to just laze and sleep like the kitty cat.

I could barely remember what I have been doing the past few days. All I can remember is mostly sleep, eat, play with cat, watch The Nanny and The Simpsons, and few long hours indulging with Nigella and Jamie Oliver plus several more hours watching Kardashian and thats pretty much how the cycle has been.

I was in Little India with Nadiah for her Photo Communication class where we snap for a bit and there was an entire I <3>Tok Nah and Mami. Tok Nah has been with the family since she was 2 years old and she is almost 80. She is not related but has been taking care of my mum and Mami, whom is my mum first cousin, as in the eldest in their family tree as well as many other people in the family including myself. Mami is famous for her Roti Sorai/Jala, Pulut Kacau and Biskut Jem Tart as well as Acar. Her granddaughters plays squash for the country. I love these two ladies the most and would never miss a chance to visit them each time I come home.

Mami treated me some meals of scrumlicious chunky satay with unusually sweet gravy with some nice Bihun Singapore (more of white vermicelli with pepper) and pulut udang. These ladies don't earn much and in fact they don't have earnings at all rather than few orders they make and financial courtesy from other relatives. I earned so much of love and joy from them and treasure it to death and love them to bits.

Meanwhile at home, mak has been making Kari Ikan Kering and Gulai Ketam - the few of my favorite homemade delicacies. I eat them to the point you may think there is no need to clean the plate. Nothing in the Big City could ever be compared with such heavenly joy as it is at home.

Also, its just rather too rewarding to be having Koko Krunch in the middle of the night when one feels hungry. I don't have the proper storage to keep milk back in college and thus its just a stunning privilege to be at home even for just a week. I wish I could have more time but due to other faithful commitment I would have to sacrifice the other remaining week of such penny short semester break.

A trip to Batu Feringghi would definitely complete part of the homecoming trip especially on getting some DVDs. Sometime, they become extinct throughout the night due to police raid and if one is lucky you're good to go. Its illegal, anyway and people still buy them. The world is just too expensive for original product sometimes. Capitalism, see. Not ordinary behavior but just rather cognitive dissonance.

The last 4 mornings at home are spent at the driving school. I learned how to park and how to go on the hill yesterday and today I learned how to drive on the road. Its jaw-dropping sometime and I feel I'm getting the hang of balancing the clutch and accelerator.

I shall retire to bed or otherwise it will be another tiring day. I need to pack back to the Evil City too..

[P/S: I know you might read, and have been reading since January 14th 2008 - based of the comment found and might just not notice any crap but the title is for you]

Too Much Heaven

Recently, so many things has caught my mind and cluttered everything. 

And thankfully, I feel better now thanks to some helpful people - mak, and a few significant beings. 

Unfortunately, cough isn't much going away. If its physical I would have definitely beaten it up. I'm hungry, its Friday and I have 2 exams on Monday. 8.45am-10.45am and 8.15pm-10.15pm.

Pfft.

When You're Good To Mama

I must name them all.

Hayam Helmi.

Barbara Alsharif.

Shirley Bennett.

and above all, Wan Badariah.

The mothers who have done so much in my life, regardless of their geographic origins and of which all of them cook the  best homemade food; from Falafel to Cinnamon Roll to Chocolate Stuff to Curry Crab.

I love them all everyday and will never forget them ever.

Happy Mothers Day!